I'm Trying

I feel like absolute, total, fucking shit.  My moods are swinging from one extreme to the other, and it is exhausting to maintain and not kick in somebody's car or smash myself in the face or cry for no reason or race around like a lunatic. 

I'm trying, so very hard.  I'm trying. 

No flourish of words.  I just want peace and rest for my body and brain. 

We Must Do Better

I met with my therapist today to discuss a new psych doctor for med management.  After an hour of discussion and catching up, she referred me to someone who came highly recommended.  Unfortunately, that individual is no longer accepting referrals so we're back to square one.

There is an extreme shortage of mental health professionals in this country.  We have to do better in this regard.  I vowed never to preach, proselytize, or otherwise proclaim any sort of authority on anything when I began this blog.  My only intention was to create an outlet for my diagnosis and to record my ongoing struggles/successes along the way.  That said, I think it is safe to state that we - mental health patients - are underserved in this country.  Our prisons are full of underserved mental health patients.  Our hospital emergency rooms and acute psych centers are overrun.  When presented with an individual in crisis, law enforcement personnel either charge the individual with a crime, or bring them to the nearest emergency room for a psych eval.

We must do better.  It should not be so hard to find care.  It should not be so hard to afford the medications that we all need in order to carry out daily tasks of living.  If we ask for help, help should be there. 

It is not.