I'm done.

The dreaded "Lamictal Rash" appeared last night, along with a very stiff and painful neck.  Lamictal was my last, best chance at an acceptable maintenance medication so this is a big disappointment.  I placed calls first thing this morning to my primary care physician and psychiatrist explaining the situation, as I was instructed to do if this should ever happen.



*crickets* for several hours.



I finally heard back from my primary care physician's nurse, who said that I should direct my issues to the prescribing doctor.  I explained (again) that the prescribing doctor is in fact a psychiatrist who had instructed me to contact my primary care physician if any adverse reactions (rash) occur with Lamictal.  Psychiatrists have offices with velvet divans.  They do not have exam tables and paper gowns.  (sarcasm)  The nurse asked if I was able to breathe.  Really?  Of course I can breathe; I'm talking, right?

I was once again told to contact the psychiatrist/prescribing doctor with my issue. 

I did.

Again.

No answer.

When (IF) the psychiatrist calls he will say that I should be seen by my medical doctor to determine if I am having an allergic reaction to the medication, or he will send me to the emergency room. 

Ah, the emergency room.  If I go there I will wait hours upon hours.  They will take a look at my rash and then refer me to the two doctors who are throwing me back and forth like a hot potato.

So this is what the bottom of the crack looks like after you fall through.  Interesting.

Here is the plan:  I no longer have Bipolar I, Anxiety/Panic disorder, PTSD, ADD, OCD, Dermatillomania, etc. - I have been cured.  Isn't that wonderful?!  I have to stop taking the medicine because I truly am on my own and if I take another dose and the rash REALLY takes off....then what?  Who's going to treat me?   

I am sick and fucking tired of being treated like an idiot because I carry these labels.  I am intelligent, underserved, overcharged, and, at times, harmed by my medical team.  I've had to fire people, hire others, and beg for treatment, only to be denied assistance when things go wrong.

The health care system in this country is bullshit.  I'm done.  I'm cured.  There is nothing wrong with me at all.  I'm sending the FUCK YOU flag up the pole.  I navigated this alone for 40+ years, I can do the rest of it in the exact same way.  Should be loads of fun.

*mic drop* 


UPDATE at 4:20 p.m.  Psychiatrist called.  He said that my PCP should have fit me in, but it doesn't matter because the Lamictal is done.  Once I described the increasing nature of the rash and stiff neck he said that I should stop taking it immediately.  We are back to square one.