Today I said the following to a dear friend and my therapist: "Losing your greatest asset - your mind - is a scary thing."
It is scary. It is frightening as hell to agree that you need help and submit to an intensive outpatient program or inpatient care. How do I know that I won't be one of those crazy fucking whack jobs running through the ward halls with my ass hanging out, drooling, screaming...
My therapist assures me that things will get better and that I will be better and that I will get my life back. I don't know what to believe.
Do you have any idea how brave one has to be to walk through the doors of a place and not know if you will ever exit? I will - very soon. I am scared to death.