Thursday, June 14, 2012
Down the rabbit hole
I will burn it all down if I allow myself to think about it for very long. I'm in here - deep in here - and it HURTS to be me.
I have lost so much, all at once, that I have no idea which end is up and the losses continue. My only daughter will turn 18 in another state, away from me, just as she turned 16 in another state - without me. It is probably for the best because I have been most unkind to her and I DO NOT MEAN TO DO IT, but there is that damn razor tongue again. The little bits of buried me are powerless to the force that is mania.
It's bad. The medication was bad. This is bad. It's all bad.
Monday - new doctor - please hurry.