Saturday, April 28, 2012
SHUT THE #&*% UP!
The noise in this house is just too much. The television is on. The dog is barking in the yard. Someone is talking. My husband is sanding drywall. The wood stove is roaring. Someone is pouring a bowl of cereal. A broom drops. At times like this - when the normal sounds of life overwhelm my brain - I have to get away ... put in ear plugs ... wear headphones.
If the noise goes on, my brain shuts down. I no longer hear individual noises. They all combine to form a painful din. I start to rhythmically curl and uncurl my toes or tap my feet on the floor. If things commence to the panic stage, I tap my face with my hand. I am unable to speak.
My Valium helps to calm the screaming panic in my brain during these moments. Noise is a part of life. It's everywhere. Unfortunately for me, it makes my skin burn and itch. It's hard to breathe. I must run, claw, tap, rock, bite, shake. Imagine a caged, cornered animal. It's not pretty. It's only noise, but for me it causes actual, physical pain.