Monday, May 7, 2012

Dear Fucktard: That was the last time you will ever hurt me.

My boss humiliated me today.  He made me cry for hours and never once looked the least bit troubled by my tears.

He knows that I am having "health" issues, and that is all he needs to know.  That is my right.  He doesn't give a shit about me anyway so why does he deserve an open door to my most personal affairs?  You are not allowed to ignore my life for 11 years and then demand to know everything about it without notice.  At least take me to lunch, or act like you even know I exist.  So no.  No.  You are not allowed to barge in like that. 

I have two very important appointments tomorrow morning.  All of my prior appointments, save one, have been before work hours so I never used any of my earned time.  I could use that time but I am a loyal employee.  A loyal employee for satan in hell. 

My boss - in front of everyone - said the following (while I openly cried and I never do that):

"You weren't here Friday afternoon." 

Neither was he - he was getting his drunk on at his country club from 9:00 a.m. on.  I stayed to finish all of my work and then had an EKG at the hospital that afternoon and felt sick after, for obvious reasons http://mymiddleroad.blogspot.com/2012/05/revealing-beast.html)

"Did you hear me?  You were not here Friday afternoon."  I nodded through tears.

"I just gave you a typing project, time slips, 4 files, requests for 2 purchase and sale agreements, signed your evictions, a request for a new complaint for declaratory judgment, and several other things, and now you're telling me that you have two medical appointments tomorrow morning?  You have to cancel those.  This is unacceptable.  You have to give me notice."

I said that I was on a cancellation list and did tell the personnel director and bookkeeper - he just happened to be out at the country club when I sent that message around.  I also reminded him that one of the appointments was prior to working hours.

"I don't care.  This work has to be done.  You have to spend time in that chair."

I never leave that fucking chair.  I am not allowed to take breaks - only lunch (sometimes).  He will knock on the bathroom door to ask me questions before I even get my fucking pants down.  Before you ask -yes- that is allowed in my State.  It is legal to be a douchefuck here.

"Right now - hands on that keyboard - do it - I want you to email [the personnel director] and tell him what is going on with you and explain how you are going to deal with these appointments.  Then you have to stay late and get this work done.  This is unacceptable.  I'm leaving early - get this done."

I am openly crying now.  I spent today working my ass off.  Oh and 'hey Fucktard - did you know that I tried to kill myself last night?  And I'm still here kicking ass with the work?  And you say these things to me in front of the entire building?' 

This marks the end.  I did indeed send the personnel director that email - stating that I had "medical issues" that I did not have to disclose, and those required medical appointments.  I also said that I arranged for my work to be completed.  I also said that I would be drafting my resignation.

That's right - I am fucking done.  No more SATAN.  No more humiliation.  No more abuse.  No more sabotage.  No more blaming me for his mistakes.  No more covering for that sorry excuse for a piece of lazy shit. 

That was the last time you will ever hurt me, asshole.  The last time. 

I am home.  I will discuss these incidents with my doctors in the morning.  I will fill my prescriptions.  I will then decide if I feel like going to work at all.  I've spent 11 years sitting in a chair and working my ass off for a man who finds me repulsive.  He would prefer a thin and beautiful assistant (his words) - one that likes golf.  I am fat and slovenly (his words).  I am useless.  Stupid.  Worthless.  Slow. 

All lies.  I am none of those things.  He is a bully and bullies like to crush people to make themselves feel better.  I am removing his little play thing and granting her a well-deserved rest.

As I left the building - tears streaming down my face - I took a deep breath, for the first time in months.  It hurt, but it will hurt less and less as time goes on because at least I will be able to breathe freely. 

Fuck you, asshole.  I hope one day you are sick and people treat you the same exact way, you prick.

2 comments:

  1. That was a huge step. Very proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My boss is the same prick. I hope he dies a slow miserable death.

    ReplyDelete

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Regards, TMR